Sure drunk public making out was cool back in college while some sorrostitute in black pants grinds against you in a frat basement while 2 Live Crew’s Hoochie Mama plays for the fifth time on the computer/ DJ. Not that I’d know anything about that either. But ever since that time in my life I think I’ve grown. I don’t wear cargo shorts everyday, I take showers now instead of just spraying axe on my balls, and now I drink my Jack straight.

In my defense it was not my fault. First of there was a girl (this time) but she had boobs, second it took place at Tattoo Bar easily the grimiest bar on K street, third it was Valentines day which after this past weekend shall be known as wet panties night. Obviously there’s something in the DC water but girls were aggressive this past weekend. One of my wingmen gave out a free gynecological exam on the dance floor, I’m not going to name any names.


Maybe there’s no age for guys to stop making out in da club. I mean I’m the youngest in the group and my boys are still making out in public every chance they get like high schoolers trying to get to first base before their parents get home. Instead of age maybe it depends on location. Let’s say for instance any bar/ club in Adams Morgan is ok to be making out at. But lounges around U and H street it’s frowned upon to be caught making out with a girl. But the rules also change for anywhere with a basement like say Saint Ex, where there’s some chick wearing a top hat, a monocle, a Beirut tank top, a poodle skirt with grey leggings, who hasn’t shaved her armpits in three months. OH, THE IRONY! Yeah, a girl in a place like that is cool to make out with.In fact don’t stop there, try to get her to jerk it while you hum Arcade Fire’s Crown of Love. Again the Irony. Most venues in Georgetown it’s cool to make out with a random hot girl, except by any venue near the water front. Lastly K street all depends on the time. It’s acceptable to suck face with a girl after 1:30 am.

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Last-modified: 2021-08-12 (木) 00:24:49 (482d)